TRP: Jasper and Roddy (Mistaken Identity)
WORD COUNT: 2860 Muse: 9:33 AM Day 177/Jan 11. Skyport Dad hadn't replied. Mishka'd said something about making sure he wasn't dead, taken off, and then Dad hadn't replied when Roddy'd tried to check on him. So instead of pacing around the castle, annoying everyone with his fretting, Roddy took off. Skyport was a few hours walk but they had lots of booze and people to scam and he wouldn't have to worry about making the local guard hate him. And hey, with a little bit of magic- the Skyport guard would end up hating a friendly looking tiefling instead. He'd set up on a street corner outside a bar, and was pulling a basic 'which cup is the pebble under?' scam. Some drunk idiot was getting inscensed that she kept loosing- and kept paying out to play again. Roddy should probably let her win soon, before she got violent, but for now? This was fun!(edited) Coyote: 9:51 AM For a six foot humanoid turtle, Rodger Hammerstein was a hard man to find. Jasper wandered the streets for an hour, asking around, and had zero luck. Time for a break, Jasper figured. She headed into her favorite bar and sat down with a sigh. Ha. Some asshole in the corner was running a shell game scam. Jasper watched, amused. Some rich idiot was getting her ass handed to her— a young blonde noble asshole, maybe sixteen years old or so. The kid looked like she was getting drunk for the first time (and getting scammed for the first time). Jasper wandered over a bit closer.(edited) Muse: 10:19 AM "You stole from me!" Roddy's victim screeched, jabbing her finger in Roddy's face. This was hilarious. Look at her. She was getting red. Roddy maybe had drank too much. He was getting the urge to laugh. "Aw c'mon now," he drawled, spreading his hands. "What's a little- gold between friends?" Oh hang on. He had a spell for this didn't he. Roddy hummed a little and reached up and patted the lady on the shoulder. "There there now. We're friends, right?" The lady wavered, looking torn. Roddy hummed a little louder, and- The lady broke out from the magic and whirled around. There was a paladin at the bar- Roddy's victim pointed at her and started yelling again. Demanding Roddy's arrest. Okay yeah- time to go. Roddy grabbed his things and started to slink towards the exit.(edited) Coyote: 10:48 AM Huh. Jasper recognized that blond asshole noble kid, now, actually. Lady Felicia. Jasper has run into her a few times. Felicia was dumb as a box of rocks— a box of rocks that had a tendency to pelt itself at people. Lady Felicia was the daughter of Archbishop Frederick, and she could do no wrong, which in this case meant she could do plenty wrong and it would simply be swept under the rug. “That man took my money!” Felicia shrieked to the paladin. She pointed at the scammer. The paladin got up, frowning. “That true?” she asked the scammer. Jasper watched, eying the situation, but didn’t comment. Muse: 10:52 AM Uh oh. Busted. "It was just a friendly little wager or two," Roddy said, smiling. Or three, or four, or ten. "You know, you win some, you lose some, and unfortunately my friend here lost more than she won." Coyote: 10:54 AM “My daddy is the bishop,” Felicia hissed. Muse: 10:56 AM Oh. Uh. Roddy was really in trouble. He bolted for the exit. Coyote: 11:00 AM Felicia shrieked. And Jasper thought: Goddamn it. Now this poor fool was gonna get arrested because he ran. The paladin grimaced and bolted after the scammer; likely she was Felicia’s personal guard, which meant she was stuck keeping the idiot Felicia out of trouble. Without really thinking about it, Jasper stuck out her foot and tripped the paladin; the paladin crashed into a table of angry drunks; the drunks stood up; someone panicked and threw a chair; and that’s when the barfight started.(edited) Muse: 11:05 AM Clang! The cell door slammed shut, and Roddy was locked inside with a big blonde- person. This was a disaster. "This is a disaster!" he moaned, pacing back and forth. "What made you think punching the bartender was a good idea!? Did you not see how seedy that place was? He probably deals with idiots like you on a daily basis!" Coyote: 11:09 AM “I don’t know! I’m not the one who threw the fucking chair!” Jasper said. That was a lie. She was. Someone had panicked and thrown and chair, and that person was Jasper. “I mean, god, okay, yes, I am. I panicked.” She pointed at the scammer. “We both could’ve gotten away if you didn’t drop the bag of gold and then go back for it! What part of ‘no, dude, just run’ did you not understand?” Muse: 11:12 AM "Well- I mean-" Roddy threw his hands in the air. "Okay yeah that was dumb but I'm a little bit drunk here! And not like I got the best common sense to begin with!" And now he was in jail. With no gold. And some weird person who liked to throw chairs and punch people. "But you didn't have to- to trip that paladin in the first place! I could have got away just fine on my own!" Coyote: 11:15 AM “Look, those fuckers got hold person spells,” Jasper said. “You can’t just run from a paladin. They just paralyze you. You gotta, like, sneak away. We needed a distraction. If that dragonborn guy hadn’t set the fucking tavern on fire—“ Muse: 11:16 AM "Well maybe he wouldn't have if you hadn't said oh what are you gonna do, set the tavern on fire!"(edited) Coyote: 11:19 AM “Oh, sure. Blame the victim. Blame the innocent bystander. Typical,” Jasper scoffed. Muse: 11:20 AM "Bystander? I would not call someone who bodyslams a paladin a bystander!" Coyote: 11:28 AM “That could’ve been any six foot tall blonde barbarian woman,” Jasper said. “Maybe I, uh, got a fuckin’ twin, alright? Evil twin, going around causing trouble and getting me arrested. I mean, she has a wicked bodyslam, though. Did you see how far I threw that paladin? Oh— uh, shit. I mean... did you see how far my, uh... evil twin threw that paladin.” Jasper paused a moment, then said, “Badass.” She snickered. “Did you see who knocked Felicia into that open sewer hole? Man, she’s gonna be pissed when she crawls out of there. I feel sorry for the poor sucker who did that. That Felicia’s such a brat... she’ll probably get whoever did it sent to the mines. Worth it, though.” Muse: 11:29 AM Uh oh. "...the mines you say?" Roddy squeaked. He'd- already narrowly avoided the mines once. He really should quit scamming before he actually did get sent there. Coyote: 11:31 AM “Haha, yeah. Poor guy. Whoever it is. You okay?” Muse: 11:31 AM "No." Roddy felt ill and looked it to. "That was. Kinda. Me. That shoved Felicia into the sewers." Coyote: 11:32 AM Jasper laughed. “Oh man, fucking worth it.” She held up her hand for a high five. Muse: 11:35 AM Roddy automatically slapped their hands together and then realized what was going on. "Oh hey- no! Not worth it! Getting sent to the mines?! Not! Worth! Anything!" Coyote: 11:37 AM “Hey, hey, buddy,” Jasper said. “Sh, sh. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. We’re friends. We’ll work through it. Let’s fuckin’ break out or something. I got you. It’s gonna be great.” Muse: 11:43 AM "OH come on," a paladin groaned from just outside their view. "Ha!" another voice said. "Told ya they were buddies. Now pay up." "C'mon Sarai, how was I supposed to know they weren't gonna end up punching each others lights out?" the first paladin complained. Roddy stood up a little straighter. "Were you just- betting on us?" he asked incredulously. "Yeah and you cost me five gold too," griped the first paladin. Okay now that was annoying. Roddy glared at where it sounded like where the paladins were and then turned to Jasper. "Yeah. Yeah let's break out and show them what we can really do." Coyote: 11:47 AM Jasper grinned. She reached into the thick tangle of her hair and pulled out a couple unusually long pins— one crooked, one straight. She craned her arms through the bars and started fiddling with the lock. It didn’t budge at all. Jasper squinted at it. “Uh, bud. I think I, uh. Am I drunk? Io, normally I’m so good at this.” Muse: 11:57 AM "We're both drunk," he said. "Yeah here lemme try." Usually Roddy didn't do the lockpicking, but couldn't do worse here. He started fiddling around- and still wasn't able to get it open. Yeah. This wasn't working. "Hey- what are you doing over there?" one of the paladins asked, suspicious. Roddy could hear footsteps and armor clanking as he approached. Time for plan B then. "Get back," he hissed, grabbing Jasper's arm and pulling her as far from the door as possible. "New plan!" Coyote: 11:59 AM “New plan? Hey— hey, don’t kill any guards!” Muse: 12:04 PM "I'm not gonna kill him!" Roddy hissed. The paladin was in view now, taking in the lockpicks still sticking out the door and looking very suspicious. "Saaaaarai," he called. Okay no time to explain. Roddy hummed a little tune and then yelled- and the door exploded. Paladin, went one way, stone, and metal flew another. And in the middle: freedom! Coyote: 12:15 PM Jasper stared at Roddy, gobsmacked. “Uh,” she said. “Well... okay.” Instead of heading towards the exit, she headed deeper into the building. Muse: 12:16 PM "Hey- hey what are you doing?" Roddy asked, scrambling after her. The paladin was knocked out cold but still seemed to be breathing- but his buddy had been out of the blast radius. "We're gonna get arrested! Again! The exit is that way!" Coyote: 12:18 PM “Yeah, but my stuff is that way. My sword and armor and shit,” Jasper said. She waved him away. “Go on, it’s fine, I got this. I totally got this.” Muse: 12:21 PM "Considering last time you said that was second before you got Hold Person cast on you, I'm not exactly inspired with confidence," Roddy griped. While still following her. Hearing shouts as their jailbreak was announced. "We're gonna get sent strait to the mines," he whined under his breath. How was he gonna explain that one to Dad. Coyote: 12:31 PM Jasper found her gear in short order— she’d already broken into this place before, and she had an excellent memory of the layout. Her stuff was locked in a stockroom. She kicked down the door, found her sword, and buckled it across her back. Good to go. Muse: 12:33 PM Roddy could hear the paladins closing in while he grabbed his gear too. They were gonna get thrown back in jail or die and it was gonna be this weirdos- oh hey! Roddy could teleport now. "Hey hey," he said, grabbing her arm. "I got a good trick. Just- trust me and go with it though okay?" Coyote: 12:33 PM Jasper frowned at him. “Uh, sure. Hey, wait.” Muse: 12:34 PM Roddy was just about to start playing his lute so he could get them out of there. "Oh Helm what is it this time," he groaned. Coyote: 12:42 PM “What’s your name?” Muse: 12:45 PM This person had great timing. "I'll tell you when we're not about to get arrested!" he yelled just as the door was bashed in. And then he grabbed Jasper and popped them outta there. He was still getting the hang of the spell though so he ended up popping them mid-air just outside the jail. Coyote: 12:50 PM Jasper hit the ground hard with an oof, but she remembered what Ripley had taught her about rolling— she tucked her head in and kept her arms and legs bent. She slammed her arms into the ground to take the force and rolled. The scammer landed next to her. “Ahaha,” Jasper said. “See? I told you so. It was fine and it was great.” She offered the man a hand up. Muse: 12:51 PM Roddy was flat on his back, wheezing. Usually he had a shell for this. Tiefling backs though. Very soft. Very squishy. "I think I broke my ribs," he gasped, feebly reaching for Jasper's hand. Coyote: 12:53 PM Jasper gently helped him up. She checked the sky overhead. “Geez. Maybe I can help you find a healer, then... Io’s tits, I gotta get going. I’ve been looking for this fucking tortle all day and I ain’t found him.” Muse: 12:53 PM "Yeah," Roddy said weakly. "You should... tortle?" Coyote: 12:54 PM “Yeah. We’re gonna go kidnap his brother Amren. It’s this whole thing,” Jasper said. Muse: 12:55 PM "What." Coyote: 12:58 PM “Hey, maybe you can help,” Jasper said. “You seen, like, a six foot tall humanoid turtle named Roddy? Likes to scam people?” Muse: 12:58 PM Roddy continued to stare at her for a good long moment. An awkward moment. Good job Jasper, you broke him. Coyote: 12:59 PM “What.” Muse: 1:00 PM "Why are you helping kidnap my brother?" Okay so apparently this was the first question on Roddy's mind. Yeah. They'd go with this. Coyote: 1:02 PM “Aha. No, dude, I’m helping kidnap Roddy’s brother. Wow, you probably hit your head, huh. Let’s get you to a healer.” Jasper bent down and heaved him up, tossing him over her shoulder. Muse: 1:04 PM Roddy squawked, flailing around. This was not right! Roddy was supposed to be the picker upper! Not the- picker uppee! That didn't even make sense. "Put me down! Or I'll- I'll magic you!" Coyote: 1:05 PM “Haha. Yeah, sure.” Jasper continued walking without setting him down. “What’s your name, bud?” Muse: 1:05 PM "I'm Roddy! Now put me down!" Coyote: 1:08 PM “Wow, you really hit your head. No, Roddy is a tortle.” Jasper kept walking. Oh wait. People had the same name, sometimes. “Hey, actually, that’s cool. There’s a human Roddy and a tortle Roddy.” Muse: 1:09 PM "NO! I'm tortle Roddy!" he yelled and punched Jasper in the back. Ow- that hurt his knuckles more than it hurt her. Coyote: 1:10 PM “Yeah, bud. Sure.” She patted him comfortingly. Muse: 1:12 PM Roddy let out a strangled, infuriated yell and started kicking and squirming around again. Why wasn't she listening- Roddy'd show her. "I'll show you!" he declared- and released the magic making him a tiefling. Coyote: 1:14 PM Jasper’s laugh was cut short by the weight of a two hundred pound tortle dropping on her. She collapsed on the ground, wheezing. The tortle dropped on top of her. She stared at him in shock. “Roddy!” she said. “Hey! Hey, you’re fuckin’— you’re my tortle friend Roddy.” Muse: 1:15 PM Roddy stared at her. "Have we met before?" Coyote: 1:17 PM “Yeah, man. We met at the... fuckin’ Sanctuary, I think,” Jasper said. “I got a, uh... episodic memory. Perfect recall. I never forget a face.” Muse: 1:18 PM "I forget them all the time," Roddy said automatically. But- now that she said that. He did remember a big blonde woman named Jasper who had letters for them. "You read my letter," he said accusingly. Coyote: 1:19 PM “I sure did, bud. I sure did.” Muse: 1:22 PM Roddy made vague grumbly noises. You know maybe lying on top of her in the middle of the street wasn't the best place for this though. He got up and offered her his hand. "Now- what is this about kidnapping my brother again?!" Coyote: 1:30 PM “Oh yeah. So hey. My name’s Jasper Melaine. I used to be part of a crime family, but I kicked myself out,” Jasper said. “My brother Gabriel got kidnapped by the Sanguines. Your brother Amren is guarding him. So me, that tiefling with the crossbow, that creepy half-elf guy, and Raef are gonna go rescue Gabriel and capture your brother.” Muse: 1:56 PM Okay. This- made sense. Finally. (Roddy maybe would have preferred it didn't make sense but.) "Right," he said, feeling- sick all of a sudden. "We're gonna- go punch Amren's lights out. Yep." How many times, growing up, would Roddy have jumped at this chance? "I need another drink." Coyote: 1:58 PM Jasper took his hand and let him help her up. “You okay, man? Uh... I mean, you okay, tortle?” February 9, 2019 Muse: 11:28 AM "Uh." Was he okay? Roddy wasn't sure. "I guess? This was gonna happen eventually. Amren's- a bad guy. Part of the Sanguines. Right." And yet... "Um. Thanks for telling me. I'll meet up with the rest of you tomorrow, I think- I think tonight I need some time to think." Coyote: 11:43 AM "Alright." Jasper patted him on the back. "Talk to you, buddy." Coyote: 12:16 PM end TITLE: Jasper and Roddy (Mistaken Identity). Summary: Jasper and Roddy get into a barfight, escape jail, and talk about brothers. Category:Text Roleplay